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I don’t have the answers, but I know that people get confused in this life about what they want, and what they’ve done, and what they think they should have because of it. Everything they think they are or did takes hold so hard that it won't let them see what they can be. So when you’re far away, I would like you to think about that, and ... come back to me.
-From "Open Range" the movie. |
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"Sorry ma'am but the flight has been oversold, please step to the side and we'll let you know if there will be an extra seat,” said the airline representative
Not responding to the representative, she slowly walks away in quietness. She has realized everything she has been looking forward to wholeheartedly have been obscured by the clouds of betrayal. When all hopes have failed, not even a flight works out for her when she most needed to get away. Will she be able to leave in the next 10 minutes or will she have to wait for the next flight?
The small gate area is crammed with many active bodies. She needed a place to sit to calm her nerves.
As she sits feeling trapped with tremendous amounts of emotions, she observes her surroundings. A man is snoring next to her. A kid is bouncing a ball in front of her. And the ladies across the room talks up a storm. She spaces out at the sky through the big windows and just started yelling at the world... through the tears dripping down her face.
It’s sad when people you know became people you knew. Trust takes time to build, seconds to lose, and twice as long to regain as it did to build in the first place. I’ve always been the person to have trouble trusting people. It’s always been a problem to me since I was young. Maybe that’s why I’ve always been a bit timid. But after everything I've been through this year, I competely feel numb now. But I guess sometimes we love people so much that we have to be numb to it, because if we actually felt how much we loved them, it’d probably kill us. Ha. It’s always when you THINK things are getting better, they just get fucking worse. No more high hopes. But if I don’t have hope, what will I have?
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| The story of my life is getting interesting. |
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| Ever felt so drained?
I woke up at 4 AM, so "drained", tired, and most of all I felt really lonely - buried underneath the minor depression
Every emotion has woken up all at once, and was pouring out along with my cries
When a little space is all I need, I just really need to accept it
Why is it that you never get the ppl you really WANT-
but I know in the "end" it will not matter a single bit of a thought,
because we always end up with ppl we truly need =T
It just hurts..
being addicted to the horrible pain of wanting someone so unattainable
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| Who I am hates who I've been. |
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